Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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