bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
