At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
