$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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