Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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