i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
