Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
