haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This girl is more easily done than said...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
