You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
