it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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