toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Plan B is the new Plan A
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
