four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
