I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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