brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
