I hate all girls vehemently.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
