youre lurking in front of me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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