When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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