Sponge bath it is.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
