I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
