wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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