Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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