i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
