Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if only i could text you this smell
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
