are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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