I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
