That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
