Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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