You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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