Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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