How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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