I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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