At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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