the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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