so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it's great music for shaving your balls
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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