She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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