Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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