hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
