why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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