Sponge bath it is.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
