I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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