i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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