I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
