What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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