i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You are a genius and a whore.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
