normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
