Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
