I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
