he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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