Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize