Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize