i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
