im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
