u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
