i don't like sucking hair
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
