Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
