in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
